If you asked anyone close come me to explain my personality in one word, I’d bet money the they wouldn’t speak “adventurous.” I’m no fond that roller coasters, believe that any sort the camping endure would include fatality by be affected by each other attack, and also have quite much maintained the same haircut since junior year that college. Which was well end a decade ago. Serious — every time i think, “This is the day for lilac streaks!”, ns come out v the exact same safe haircut and color.

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But food challenges? Those I have the right to do. Back in the day, I tested myself to go vegan because that a week for an article. It was tough, yet profitable — therefore really, pat those vegans on the ago for staying strong. Imagine the fire in mine soul once the editors end at so Yummy request if I’d take on a comparable challenge.

But this time, meals would certainly be a small easier to put together. In fact, some could say a small too easy.

I determined to see if I can last on a diet of hot Pockets, due to the fact that I obviously dislike myself. Okay, that’s a hoax — yet I certainly felt a tiny remorse the night before the challenge. What was when a wonderful and also partially funny idea started making mine stomach churn a small bit as fact hit. But, the freezer was already stocked and also I already agreed come it in an email with number of exclamation points.

I couldn’t permit my editor down! and if I offered up, it’s sort of like turning my earlier on those lilac streaks as soon as again.

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I have actually a decent relationship with warm Pockets. Ns crave castle maybe once per every 6 months, usually because of a tempting commercial or a sudden desire come eat subpar pepperoni pizza in an instant. But that craving commonly passes quite quickly.

Never prior to have i eaten more than one every day, to my knowledge. One is usually more than enough.

Here’s the point — i don’t want to in any way promote a “diet” that’s absolutely unhealthy. The truth that it surrounds warm Pockets is negative enough. So, I need to make certain I get the ideal amount the calories every day, definition that my hot Pocket entry will most likely hit fine over 3 per day, relying on the bag itself. I’ll also allow Lean Pockets in. They’re in the very same family, after ~ all. Also, it need to be painfully noticeable that I’m not a dietician or a nutritionist or anyone who has any kind of authority over food and wellness. I similar to to eat it and also write around it.

Day 1: Monday, November 5th

It’s day among my warm Pocket project, and I need to admit, I’m yes, really pumped the I added a couple of boxes the the breakfast variety to mine stash. That might aid normalize points a little bit.

I think it’d be beneficial to tell you a little bit around my typical breakfast routine. In addition to being a writer and the finish opposite that a thrillseeker, I’m also a mother to a pretty wonderful 1.5-year-old called Charlotte. Charlotte, like countless toddlers, gets a tiny picky around food. One day she loves something, the following she loathes it. Top top a usual morning, she’s served what i eat. Usually, it’s scrambled eggs and also spinach, sometimes with turkey sausage combined in. But since I’d never subject she to a hot Pockets diet, ns made her eggs solo. And also then watched her throw them top top the floor come my really happy dog. When this same instance happens top top morning four, I’m hoping i won’t be also upset the she’s discarding a new breakfast that wasn’t born in the microwave.

Speaking of, ns went through the Applewood Bacon, Egg, & Cheese pocket. I cooked it extensively as instructed, and waited for it come cool.

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It to be okay. A little much more bread 보다 I envisioned, and also I wasn’t totally satisfied with it, but it tasted fine enough.

I went v Pepperoni Pizza for lunch, and also hoo boy. It was the pick-me-up ns needed. Yet eventually, around 3 p.m., I started dragging. The was specifically hard, because Charlotte is a large fan of Sesame Street. Till now, I never ever realized exactly how food-focused the show really is. Season 48 includes an entire segment whereby Cookie Monster and Gonger (yeah, you could want to look him up) chef food for children from a food truck.

Surprise! none of that is in microwavable pocket form. Suddenly, also tuna fish sandwiches appeared appetizing.

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I waited until around 4:15 to eat my third pocket of the work —this time, the the skinny Pockets variety.

Roasted Turkey, Bacon, and also Cheese to be surprisingly very good, especially because it used a baked pretzel bread. But I quiet felt a little hollow top top the inside. When my husband came home and also put two more in the convection oven, i was near tears.

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In bespeak to obtain the taste the pocket out of mine body, i tried cutting open up a taco-inspired hot Pocket to just enjoy the beans and also rice, scraped out.

It didn’t look pretty, but it was the finest meal I had actually all day.

Day 2: Tuesday, November 6th

Happy election Day! I’ll be celebrating by trying not to crumble choose a flaky crust warm Pocket. Turns out, eating 4.5 hot Pockets leads to a stomachache, and also I’m feeling the impacts today. I decided to obtain counsel indigenous the two wisest men I knew.

“Now dad, I understand you’re going to it is in upset when I tell friend this,” I claimed on the phone so late last night, post-scraping. “But to trust me, I’m doing whatever right.”

I said him about the hot Pockets.

His an initial instinct, together is everyone’s once I’ve told them about this experience, was to acquire nostalgic about the best flavors. Because that the record, everyone constantly singles out ham and cheese. Then, he gave me a tip — rather of 4.5 warm Pockets, perhaps pair some of them with much more caloric drinks, prefer juice.

After all, naught in the rulebook claimed that ns couldn’t drink everything I wanted.

My husband’s tip was the I can quit whenever i wanted. “I know you’d feel bad about leaving one assignment,” the said. “And I understand we literally have actually a freezer full of warm Pockets in the house. Yet if you’re really feeling sick, you must put your health and wellness first.”

Just somebody telling me I had an out made me feel better. As the wise john Mulaney joked, there’s no far better feeling than canceling plans.

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Still, i pressed on. I had actually a breakfast lean Pocket this morning, and nothing damaging happened. For lunch, I decided to obtain creative. Technically, hot Pockets are taken into consideration “sandwiches” by the company, but much favor the warm dog, you may not agree. But that doesn’t mean that girlfriend can’t make a legit sandwich out of a hot Pocket.

So ns took 2 BBQ Beef warm Pockets, heated them up, and also did some surgery.

I gotten rid of the meaty insides of one and also then reduced into the second to do it resemble a sub roll. Ns transported the extra meat, included a smidgen the cheese, and voila! It’s like a university cheesesteak. (At this an extremely moment, surely someone in Philadephia just fainted.) ns realized the the only means I’m walking to get through this was v creativity.

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For dinner, mine husband join me with two classics — ham and also cheese, and four-cheese pizza.

He used hot sauce to add a tiny bit of odor since, in his opinion, it just lacked the pizazz you’d find in literally any other food.

Day 3: Wednesday, November 7th

I’m coming right into today both nervous and also excited. Nervous because I have a pediatrician appointment v Charlotte and also don’t feel like Super Mom based on eating nothing however Hot Pockets for two days, yet excited to try and rotate my ham and also cheese pockets right into a sandwich, much like i did through the beef bag yesterday.

Sipping top top juice and chocolate milk has actually helped mine calorie count and overall morale.

The nerves luckily dissipated when we got to the doctor’s office and I reminded myself that ns wasn’t the one being monitored. Ns actually had a doctor’s appointment the week before this project and also checked the end okay. In mine head, i just fear that any type of medical expert would be ashamed of mine brand new, pocket-heavy lifestyle.

But strange enough, my morale has actually improved so much. I’m actually looking forward to meals and also excited that I maintained on going.

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Dinner to be Chicken, Broccoli, and Cheddar, and a High Protein selection that — not going to lie — wasn’t anything favor I expected. As soon as I think of high protein, i think that the Power food selection at Taco Bell. I could, without a doubt, endure on a week’s worth of the power Menu. (Unfortunately, the Taco Bell is a bit of a distance.)

Day 4: Thursday, November 8th

Can friend guys believe I almost quit? It’s Thursday, and also I feel more powerful than ever. Mine stomach has pretty much gotten used to the new bland diet I’ve subjected it to, and also suddenly i feel prefer a warm Pocket expert. The ideal ones room literally the ones you can quickly turn into a legit sandwich, either by eating just half of a pocket through fillings scraped come one side, or using two complete pockets to mine extra filling.

That’s exactly what ns did with my ham and also cheese lunch.

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Honestly, this has become so routine by currently that part of me has actually just embraced that this is life now.

I had actually to go to the save for some extra a.m. Pockets since I couldn’t fathom the idea of eat chicken and broccoli first thing in the morning, and also felt as if they’re basic breakfast I could stand behind once this job is over.

Day 5: Friday, November 9th

If you’re spring for much more pockets to turn into tasty sandwiches, might I market up the ide of meatball? Here’s my one complaint.

For dinner, ns ate this one in standard pocket form, and also something seemed off. Note: it to be a lean Pocket. So maybe the filling (and my overall satisfaction) to be leaner 보다 I’d have actually hoped.


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Luckily, i paired it through Pepperoni Pizza. A forever win. These pockets will certainly make you feel like you’re in ~ the coolest elementary institution party of all time.

Day 6: Saturday, November 10th

Ever have days once you’re just not emotion it? that was me top top Saturday. Typically, the household goes the end pretty beforehand for Charlotte’s gym class, however my energy was severely lacking.

“Finally,” I believed to myself. “The impacts of the pockets have actually hit!” and also that can be so. That, or maybe it to be the as whole stress of keeping up v the habit.

That’s the tough component about weekends. When you work remotely and also have access to a microwave, it’s fairly easy to chow under on warm Pockets. However when you want to go the end and, say, go to the mall, you suddenly require to setup your day approximately the pockets.

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I make the efforts to gain some extra energy by eat my breakfast warm Pocket with a virgin screwdriver, favor in a an elaborate brunch.

By virgin screwdriver, I mean orange juice in a wine glass.

Day 7: Sunday, November 11th

Perhaps learning that this is the finish of the warm Pocket an obstacle gave me the energy I necessary to walk to Charlotte’s rescheduled gym class.

Or, perhaps it to be going to bed at 9 p.m. Regardless, this strange adventure ends today.

For lunch, I chose to see what was really behind those meatball hot Pockets. Let’s simply say, I’m not impressed.

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The totality thing ended with what turned right into my absolute favorite — a BBQ Beef warm Pocket because that dinner.

While eating it, I had actually the revelation the this was much more or much less the end. Following week, I’d be earlier to normal, non-pocketed food. I’d it is in reintroduced come vegetables. And also I could not touch the microwave for days.

Final Thoughts

Overall, I shed two pounds because I began — and also I attribute this to knowing pretty much specifically what ns was eating.

It’s most likely why diet plans the contain prepackaged foods usually work. The downside is, eating this method almost kills her social life if you shot to maintain it. Promising to only eat warm Pockets also limits her snacking almost 100%. I guarantee the those two pounds will certainly creep increase the second I’m back on track.

The pockets did give me a little an ext time in the day which, as a mom, ns appreciated.

Not just did the variety of dishes I had actually to execute go down, but obviously it’s a basic win as soon as a meal takes two minutes to prep and cook.

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But now, the downside. When participating in this experiment, i temporarily had to toss out my cravings and love of food.

Yes, several of the warm Pockets were quite tasty. But this week, it to be mostly around eating come function, instead of eating for enjoyment. And really, isn’t the the best part of eating?